So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
