His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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