You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
