I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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