hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
