She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
