when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
