Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The Olympian is in my bed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
