there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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