great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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