making cat noises will not fix the situation.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
