He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
