help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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