I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
