So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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