apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
