On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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