I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
