I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
