hell yes lets make some ravioli
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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