I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
