I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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