I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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