in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
