the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
