I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
