i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
