matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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