I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
