You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
