on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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