the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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