She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
