the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
