so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
