If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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