just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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