I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
