i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
