She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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