So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
