i think my tv is drunk
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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