I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
