I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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