I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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