Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
