I want to walk on stilts...naked
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
