escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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