he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
