i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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