I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
