Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
