He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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